Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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