The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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