Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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