Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
