Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
