Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
