I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
