hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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