Please, let me fuck your mom
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
