You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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