hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
