we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
