I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
