I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
