had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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