I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
