ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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