Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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