Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
