Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
