so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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