Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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