take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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