Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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