i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
