if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My first STD was from a foam party
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
