yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
