I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
