Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
