Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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