I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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