I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
