I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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