i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize