so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize