I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
