You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
