your room smells of hookers.
And success
Your dad touched me again.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize