Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
