the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize