ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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