she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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