Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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