1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize