My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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