i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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