careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
