we should wear snuggies to the strip club
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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