I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
