you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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