Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
