He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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