I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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