You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize