I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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