hotel room ftw
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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