She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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