I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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