i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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